You know what I’m talking about. Stuffies as in stuffed animals, critters, creatures, monsters, or any other kind of stuffed toy we give to our dogs (or cats!) to play with.
There are tons of stuffed toys to choose from that are made specifically for pets drag around, throw around, play fetch with, and sink their teeth into.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
Some pets are very gentle with their stuffies. They carry them around gingerly in their mouths, dote over them, and often nap with them.
Others, like the wieners, practically race to see how fast they can rip a stuffy open and tear its guts out.
They have a system, which they have allowed me to share with you:
Phase 1 – If the creature has a beating heart (a squeaker), it must be squeaked to death. Then rip out the heart (squeaker) unceremoniously, ensuring that the creature is indeed fully dead. If the creature seems heartless, simply open the creature violently and proceed to Phase 2.
Phase 2 – Move to full-on destruction. Pull out every possible shred of guts. Move from place to place while doing this, ensuring that guts are displayed proudly throughout the house.
Phase 3 – Sigh with disappointment that there are no more guts to fish out. Look at remaining empty carcass with mild contempt. Snatch carcass with teeth and throw it wildly into the air. Not satisfying. Throw carcass into the air a few more times in case you were mistaken about not being satisfied the first time. Nope, still not satisfying.
Phase 4 – Carry mangled corpse around with you until a human notices. Drop it from your mouth like you are completely disinterested in it. If the human attempts to pick up the corpse, give a warning growl. Repeat this process as many times as necessary. The human must always know that the carcass is yours until you have not touched it for at least one full year. If the carcass begins to stink, insist upon keeping it longer.
Dumb mama, quit takin’ pictures with yer phone!
I’m sure many of you are familiar with this system.
Okay, so what’s the warning? I did tell you to be careful, didn’t I?
The warning is to be careful with stuffed animals that are not specifically made for pets.
We had a small dog stuffy that was just a regular stuffed animal… I can’t even remember where it came from because we don’t have any kids of the human variety. Anyway, we gave it to Li’l Girl, not really thinking there might be anything wrong with it.
No picture of the carcass, because I didn’t think to snap a photo of it before it went into the trash. (It was a soft little stuffed dog that looked like an English Bulldog, not the red toy shown in the pictures above.)
It had the usual kind of stuffing… she’s very good at spitting it out after she extracts it.
But apparently, deep in the center, it also had what is pictured below… a little mesh baggie of plastic beads. I have cut a corner open so that you can see the beads.
Thankfully, while she was ripping its guts out, I happened to look down right at the moment she pulled the baggy out. I got it away from her, and it seemed to have no holes in it, so I don’t think she swallowed any beads.
Now, if she had swallowed a few, they would’ve probably passed on through with no lasting effect.
But what if she had swallowed the whole bag of beads?
Lesson learned. I had never given her a regular stuffed animal before and certainly won’t again after this incident. Only toys and stuffies that are made specifically for pets! I already have to pay close attention to make sure they don’t swallow squeakers or other pieces of toys. I don’t want to have worry about weird things like beads too.
So be careful, folks… be mindful of what you give your kiddos to chew on. You never know what’s in there.
This post has been included in the Saturday Pet Blogger Hop,
hosted by Two Little Cavaliers, Life With Dogs, and Confessions of the Plume
Stuffies for pets can be hazardous enough, but those for humans can really be bad!
Yep, lesson learned! They won’t be getting a stuffy for humans ever again!
Our kids only have four legs… so luckily only pet only stuffies!!
We only have four-legged children too! I honestly cannot remember where this one stuffy came from! Maybe I’ll edit the post real quick to include that we have no two-leggers.
Perfect description of the stuffy de-stuffing! Shiner loves de-stuffing toys! It’s funny because as soon as I saw those beads, it reminded me of something that happened several years ago. I was walking a boarding dog at work and noticed those beads in its poop. I recognized them because I have kids and I know they exist in toys like beanie babies.
Haha, yep! That makes me wonder… when vet techs see stuff like that, do they make a note in the patient’s file to perhaps tell/warn the parents? Eh, probably not. You guys are probably like, “Oh look… beads… ” and then get on with your day. I mean geez, I’m sure there’s not time to be making notes on everyone’s poo, lol.
Funny how some dogs love to destroy their toys and other don’t. Our last two dogs loved to destroy them. Bailey’s goal was just to make it STOP squeaking! As soon as she had the squeaker out (and dismantled – she knew how to pull the little squeak-making stopper out of the with her tiny front teeth) she was done with it. But… she did have a pink poodle with those kinda beads in it and she was SUPER gentle with it. She loved that pink poodle and would carry it around gently, so we let her keep it, even though we knew it had beads.
Abby just loved to be The Destroyer. I started buying her kid’s stuffed toys at garage sales for a quarter (but you have to inspect them for no plastic eyes and what not first) cuz no store-bought (expensive!) toy could stand up to her wrath, so might as well let her have some fun for 25c rather than $20!
Rita is mostly gentle with her toys. They last forever.
I know, right? It’s so interesting how every dog seems to be a little different about toys.
Li’l Girl likes the squeaking… I think she really gets into the “I’m totally killing you to death right now!” thing.
On the other hand, Austin doesn’t like the squeaking and just wants it to stop. But, after the squeaking has stopped, the toy must be fully destroyed.
It’s funny that Bailey was super gentle with her pink poodle that was a regular stuffy. It’s like they know the difference. Li’l Girl was like that when I first gave her this one. She kept carrying it out around and fussing over it like it was a puppy. But eventually she was overwhelmed by her urge to kill and that was the end of that, lol.
That’s a good idea buying old toys/stuffies at garage sales and stuff (as long as you inspect them, of course!). Dog toys are frackin’ expensive, especially when you know they’re going to be obliterated in five minutes.
And Rita, of course she’s gentle with her toys. I’ve said this before, but you can just tell what a sweet soul she has.
LOL! I laughed SO hard reading this!! I read it to my hubby and he laughed too! The pictures you included just made it even more funny. 😀 BEST. POST. EVER!
Our first dachshund was a little different. He had soooo many phases…
#1 play with Mom until she stops; running around like crazy until I can’t run anymore
#2 lay down with stuffy; MUST. EAT. EARS.
#3 Ears gone? Check. MUST. EAT. TAIL.
#4 Ears AND Tail gone? Double check. Nose/eyes/face is NEXT! (we never gave him plastic eyes, but he still managed to chew off the sewed on eyes?)
#5 All appendages gone. Carcass is now ready for de-stuffing (IF it has stuffing… we stopped buying stuffed toys after a while.)
#6 RUN! with carcass and kill squeaker in the process
#7 sleep with carcass until Mom says it’s dead.
On occasion I would take away the stuffies and patch them so he could play with them slightly longer. lol Was always a fun game! Our little dachshund now, cherishes toys. He gets them SO gross though. He takes them everywhere and refuses to kill them. I don’t get it. lol We get him super durable toys in fear of the day he might decide he wants to kill them. The only toy he has killed so far is a stuffy soccer ball that was only $1 – so wasn’t expecting much from it.
Thanks, the description of your previous dachshund’s phases is really funny as well! Li’l Girl used to do exactly the same thing. Tear off each appendage one by one, then start working on the body as a whole. Now she just goes at them from whatever angle strikes her at the moment.
But her chewing habits have changed since we got Austin. LittleBear (her old best pal, at the Rainbow Bridge now) didn’t care for toys, so she never had to worry about him stealing hers. She could have them strewn about the house, killing at random… whenever a homicidal mood struck her. But Austin, he is all about destruction. Method? There’s no real method. He has insanely strong jaws for a dachshund and his method is simply to destroy until there are nothing but tiny bits left. So the kinds of toys we buy, plus when we have them out, has changed completely. Li’l Girl can’t just have her toys out all the time, because Austin will take them and just annihilate them until there is nothing left to chew. He doesn’t understand the joy of keeping a good carcass. The ONLY toy he has not been able to destroy yet is a Kong Extreme (the black one).
We know all about “getting them gross”. And it’s really best not to wash the gross stuffy carcasses because first, they might just fall apart in the washer; and second, they LIKE the grossness – it’s their signature… the grossness marks the kill as theirs, lol.
Hi, Pam!
Thank you for sharing! That is so scary. I am glad you were there and able to get it away from your Li’l Girl before she could get into it. I don’t have two legged babies either, so luckily I don’t have to worry about it. I only buy certain doggie toys as it is because some scare me. Rope toys, for example, terrify me! I am so afraid one of my kids would ingest the rope and get an obstruction or some other awful injury. So no rope toys for my kiddos! Great post! Your description of the toy attack was spot on!
Have a great day!
I’m glad I got it away from her too! About rope toys, we’ve only bought them a couple of times and probably never again. I totally understand about fearing an obstruction, and we worry about that too, but that’s not the reason we won’t get them again. See, since the wieners like to pull things apart, that’s what they do to the rope toys… and they may swallow a tiny bit, but I’d say they get 99% of it spit out… everywhere… tiny strings from one end of the house to the other. I don’t mind if the fluff is everywhere – that’s easy enough to just pick up real quick. But those strings stick to the carpet like magnets, forcing me to vacuum when I otherwise may not have needed to. And I hate vacuuming. So no more rope toys ;).
Great story. I had a similar experience.
Ooh, I recognize that system of attack. In fact my Dachshund, Dazs, taught it to my JRT. I do try to do a little prep to the toys to hopefully keep them intact for a bit longer.
I’ve seen those beads before in stuffed animals. I wonder what their purpose is? Glad you found them right away.
Yes, I believe the system is well-known among Dachshunds 😉 And yeah, sometimes you have to do what you can to make toys last longer. We’ve gotten to the point of making some of them ourselves, using tougher fabrics like thick denim that’s old and been washed a million times.
And those beads? I don’t know… I really don’t see the point of having them in there. They seem to serve no useful purpose.
Glad she didn’t swallow any beads.